ThiS ColouR

Woke up today with a sharp pain in my abdominal area. Could not make it for house visit at Xiaowen's place. My supposedly only outing for the past 7 days. I apologised for unable to make it.

It has been a whole week of confinement except school and grandma's home. And there is not even a slight desire to ask people out for movies, meals, catch ups etc....Hmm..that is not very me. I have totally lost interest in communication with people generally.

I really feel bad for pushing away invitations from friends. But i just don't feel like socialising to anyone right now. I am beginning to adore this isolationist behaviour for the moment. I resist drawing close to people. I feel more at peace by myself. I don't know how long will this barrier lasts.

It doesn't matter who will stand by me in the end cos GOD is going to be there for me.

Oh man...i feel like i am sounding so gloomy in this entry. But i am doing fine and glad with the things that are happening in my life right now. Yeah but i cannot be 100% problem-free. I am stating out the problems here, that's why it sounded greyish and this entry is a reflection of only a small part of me.

It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand. Madeleine L'Engle